21 October 2011

jimmy fallon effing cares about me

A few years ago I was at one of my usual haunts on a Friday evening, chatting with the bartenders and the regular crowd like I did every week.  And just like every week, my happiness lasted beyond the designated hours and it was suddenly past midnight!  Has this ever happened to you?  Of course it has, but how about this - I headed towards the door to chat with my pal who's busy checking ids.  I didn't realize that he was midchat with some other dude when I accidentally interrupted their convo, leading said other dude to give me the meanest, evil eye kind of look EVER.  It was the kind of glare that says 'who do you think you are interrupting my extremely important intoxicated conversation, lady? Because I'm really important.'  I just wanted to be like soooory dude, it was an innocent mistake, but he wasn't having it and he left shortly after.  Well Jimmy Fallon, you missed a super fun night because me and my pals know how to party!  That's right, the guy with the glare was totally Jimmy Fallon and he was snobby to me... uncool.

In New York you tend to run into famous folks pretty regularly and you're supposed to pretend that they're just normal people walking down the street; you kind of have to ignore them.  But every once in awhile you actually get to interact with them and it can (usually) be pretty awesome.  This was not one of those times and Mr. Fallon, you owe me a beer as an apology for being standoffish to me that night.  For a long time I've felt that until that happens, I'm going to remain mad at Jimmy Fallon.

Now that I've filled y'all in on the history me and Jimmy share, you'll understand why I got such a kick out of a story Tina Fey told about him in her book, Bossypants.  The entire book is super hilarious and it totally made me bust out laughing on the bus a few times, leading to some weird looks from my fellow passengers.  Go read it, you won't regret it.  But anyways, one scene in particular involves Mr. Fallon and the lovely Ms. Amy Poehler (though I can't be certain that she's lovely since I've never had a bar encounter with her, I imagine she would be pretty awesome.)  The passage goes a little something like this (read this in Tina Fey's awesomely snarky voice) - 

"Amy was in the middle of some ... nonsense ... and she did something vulgar as a joke. I can't remember what it was exactly, except it was dirty and loud and 'unladylike.'

Jimmy Fallon, who was arguably the star of the show at the time, turned to her and in a faux-squeamish voice said, 'Stop that! It's not cute! I don't like it.'

Amy dropped what she was doing, went black in the eyes for a second and wheeled around on him. 'I don't f**king care if you like it.' Jimmy was visibly startled. Amy went right back to enjoying her ridiculous bit. (I should make it clear that Jimmy and Amy are very good friends and there was never any real beef between them. Insert penis joke here.)"

My saying this might be a few years late, but guess what Jimmy - I don't effing care what you think either!  He however, seems to care just a little about how I feel and what I think.  Fast forward to my current quest for calcium and the resulting ice cream binge.  I think Jimmy Fallon must have known that I was still holding a bit of a grudge against him after all this time and he wanted to make it up to me.  So I imagine that's why he helped a couple of dudes up in Vermont develop an amazing new ice cream flavor called Late Night Snack.  Sweet and salty just how I like it, this Ben and Jerry's flavor is made up of chocolate covered potato chip clusters and a salted caramel swirl all jam packed in rich vanilla bean ice cream.  Plus, it's Fair Trade.  And it's awesome and I love it and I could probably eat an entire pint in one sitting.  

Though it's not the apology beer I was holding out for, the ice cream is a pretty good start, so Jimmy, you're kind of forgiven.  I won't forget your sassy eyed look that night but I guess we can kind of be friends since you created this ice cream especially for me.  I only wish it was a little more obvious to the rest of the frozen dairy loving world that this dessert was made specifically with me in mind.  Ok man, you're officially off my uncool list... but it'll take a change in the ice cream name if you want to make it onto the cool list.


  1. Great post! Keep up the good work and also keep posting.