10 September 2013

a stinky situation

I know I've mentioned it before, that I like to think that I'm a relatively healthy person, that I live a reasonably balanced life, keep an eye on my diet and exercise and keep everything in moderation. So when my honey honey started telling me all about how bad regular deodorant is for you, I couldn't help but listen. Plus he's just so darn cute when he's concerned. Well, I read up on the awful side effects of antiperspirants and chatted with a handful of gals who also chose to ditch their traditional Secrets and Teen Spirits to gather some more information. What I was able to discern from my very scientific research (also known as distracted googling,) is that the antiperspirants in traditional women's deodorants contain aluminum and that is what makes it an apparent no no. Though the jury still seems to be out on the direct effects of those aluminum-based ogres, there are speculations that it could be the cause or at least a contributing factor to myriad ailments including breast cancer, alzheimers, and kidney disease. Since I want none of those things, I decided to listen to my man and the experts (aka similarly skeptical gal pals) and cut out the antiperspirant part of my deodorant.

so many insufficient options.
Little did I know that my journey to clean and natural preventative health would be so stinky. You see, the brains behind underarm health are completely sexist and biased. It seems that it's totally acceptable for men to be a little ripe - it's rugged and manly or something dated like that. Women on the other hand are supposed to shy away from any stench that isn't in a fancy cut glass bottle. Because of this, most men's deodorants don't even have antiperspirants in them - but smelling like a guy isn't all it's cracked up to be so rather than browse the dude options I chose to stick with the antiperspirant-free options in the lady section of the drug store. That was before I realized that there was no such section. Seriously, next time you're at you local deodorant carrying store look for antiperspirant-free women's deodorants. You'll come away with three horribly dated, unappealing options - some weird crystal hippie garbage and Tom's of Maine (and I stand by the statement that none of their natural hoohaw works.) I tried both options and by 10AM I was stinkier than I ever thought I could be. Seriously, even with a dozen reapplications I still couldn't get rid of my own BO. What was I to do?

Well, like any other sensible young woman I turned to the internet and like any other sensible young woman with an eye for DIY, I turned to Etsy. There I found dozens of options for homegrown goop to slather under your arm. To determine the best without spending too much money, I looked to the lady blogs and chose one straight outta the borough that knows best, Brooklyn. Not only did it not work, I also had to schmear it under my arms with my fingers since it was in a pit and not a stick or roll-on; icky. Then there were the powders. Pretty much just glorified, pleasant smelling baking soda that didn't do anything but make a dusty white mess. My clothes were getting ruined, my bank account balance was withering away (seriously, these "natural" deodorants are so pricey,) and I smelled. I was so annoyed with this whole experiment that I was nearly ready to give up and go back to my regular illness-inducing stick.

But, for honey's sake (and my own, I suppose,) I decided to spend sixty more dollars one three more experimental sticks - yeah $60 for three sticks, told you it wasn't cheap! Well whadayaknow, they kind of work. The award for daily-wear odor eliminator goes to Dr. Hauschka's Deodorant Fresh (sometimes Floral but I prefer the spicy citrus of the Fresh scent.) Even though it's a wet roll-on which I typically don't care for, I love this. And I should have known all along because Dr. Hauschka products are among my favorites; all natural, nice smelling, truly amazing for my skin. And unless I'm doing heavy lifting (not as uncommon as you'd think in my line of work,) or it's super hot, it works for the majority of the day. During those times that it doesn't cut the mustard and I start feeling not so fresh, I turn to my backup BO buster - Lavanilla Healthy Deodorant Vanilla Passion Fruit (though I really would prefer the Vanilla Grapefruit but they were out of it when I went to Sephora.) If it worked as well as Dr. Hauschka I would opt for this one to be the daily deodorant since it's a solid, but unfortunately it doesn't last quite as long so it really works best as a backup. My last resort smell squasher is Pristine Beauty's Take A Whiff! Natural Deodorant. It seems to work great but I just can't get past the fact that it smells like a creamsicle and the only thing I want smelling like icy confections is my breath after I've devoured the frozen treats.

And like they always seem to, Portlandia totally hit the nail on the head with the natural deodorant trends and foibles. I was cracking up when I watched this the other night. So swipe on some all natural blahbadebloop and watch it. Then go out and perform your own smell test to see if you're willing to suffer the stink to (possibly) save your sanity.

I'll let you in on a little secret - I still use my old Dove Go Fresh Revive deodorant when I go running. Even though it's only me smelling myself, I don't like to be extra stinky and I love the smell of it when I throw my arms up in celebration that I've completed a mile in a reasonable time.. Plus I bought one of those crazy multipacks from the Duane Reed and I don't like to waste so I have to use it all up. We'll have to wait for that last swipe to see if I say sayonara or if I hold on to it. I'll keep you posted!

No comments:

Post a Comment