a stinky situation

I know I've mentioned it before, that I like to think that I'm a relatively healthy person, that I live a reasonably balanced life, keep an eye on my diet and exercise and keep everything in moderation. So when my honey honey started telling me all about how bad regular deodorant is for you, I couldn't help but listen. Plus he's just so darn cute when he's concerned. Well, I read up on the awful side effects of antiperspirants and chatted with a handful of gals who also chose to ditch their traditional Secrets and Teen Spirits to gather some more information. What I was able to discern from my very scientific research (also known as distracted googling,) is that the antiperspirants in traditional women's deodorants contain aluminum and that is what makes it an apparent no no. Though the jury still seems to be out on the direct effects of those aluminum-based ogres, there are speculations that it could be the cause or at least a contributing factor to myriad ailments including breast cancer, alzheimers, and kidney disease. Since I want none of those things, I decided to listen to my man and the experts (aka similarly skeptical gal pals) and cut out the antiperspirant part of my deodorant.

so many insufficient options.

Little did I know that my journey to clean and natural preventative health would be so stinky. You see, the brains behind underarm health are completely sexist and biased. It seems that it's totally acceptable for men to be a little ripe - it's rugged and manly or something dated like that. Women on the other hand are supposed to shy away from any stench that isn't in a fancy cut glass bottle. Because of this, most men's deodorants don't even have antiperspirants in them - but smelling like a guy isn't all it's cracked up to be so rather than browse the dude options I chose to stick with the antiperspirant-free options in the lady section of the drug store. That was before I realized that there was no such section. Seriously, next time you're at you local deodorant carrying store look for antiperspirant-free women's deodorants. You'll come away with three horribly dated, unappealing options - some weird crystal hippie garbage and Tom's of Maine (and I stand by the statement that none of their natural hoohaw works.) I tried both options and by 10AM I was stinkier than I ever thought I could be. Seriously, even with a dozen reapplications I still couldn't get rid of my own BO. What was I to do?

Well, like any other sensible young woman I turned to the internet and like any other sensible young woman with an eye for DIY, I turned to Etsy. There I found dozens of options for homegrown goop to slather under your arm. To determine the best without spending too much money, I looked to the lady blogs and chose one straight outta the borough that knows best, Brooklyn. Not only did it not work, I also had to schmear it under my arms with my fingers since it was in a pit and not a stick or roll-on; icky. Then there were the powders. Pretty much just glorified, pleasant smelling baking soda that didn't do anything but make a dusty white mess. My clothes were getting ruined, my bank account balance was withering away (seriously, these "natural" deodorants are so pricey,) and I smelled. I was so annoyed with this whole experiment that I was nearly ready to give up and go back to my regular illness-inducing stick.

But, for honey's sake (and my own, I suppose,) I decided to spend sixty more dollars one three more experimental sticks - yeah $60 for three sticks, told you it wasn't cheap! Well whadayaknow, they kind of work. The award for daily-wear odor eliminator goes to Dr. Hauschka's Deodorant Fresh (sometimes Floral but I prefer the spicy citrus of the Fresh scent.) Even though it's a wet roll-on which I typically don't care for, I love this. And I should have known all along because Dr. Hauschka products are among my favorites; all natural, nice smelling, truly amazing for my skin. And unless I'm doing heavy lifting (not as uncommon as you'd think in my line of work,) or it's super hot, it works for the majority of the day. During those times that it doesn't cut the mustard and I start feeling not so fresh, I turn to my backup BO buster - Lavanilla Healthy Deodorant Vanilla Passion Fruit (though I really would prefer the Vanilla Grapefruit but they were out of it when I went to Sephora.) If it worked as well as Dr. Hauschka I would opt for this one to be the daily deodorant since it's a solid, but unfortunately it doesn't last quite as long so it really works best as a backup. My last resort smell squasher is Pristine Beauty's Take A Whiff! Natural Deodorant. It seems to work great but I just can't get past the fact that it smells like a creamsicle and the only thing I want smelling like icy confections is my breath after I've devoured the frozen treats.

And like they always seem to, Portlandia totally hit the nail on the head with the natural deodorant trends and foibles. I was cracking up when I watched this the other night. So swipe on some all natural blahbadebloop and watch it. Then go out and perform your own smell test to see if you're willing to suffer the stink to (possibly) save your sanity.

I'll let you in on a little secret - I still use my old Dove Go Fresh Revive deodorant when I go running. Even though it's only me smelling myself, I don't like to be extra stinky and I love the smell of it when I throw my arms up in celebration that I've completed a mile in a reasonable time.. Plus I bought one of those crazy multipacks from the Duane Reed and I don't like to waste so I have to use it all up. We'll have to wait for that last swipe to see if I say sayonara or if I hold on to it. I'll keep you posted!

"somebody get me a net!"

I was a pretty lucky kid; I had the Disney Channel! As a child of the 80s, when most of the cable and premium channels were brand new, there wasn't a ton of original programming. So they really just showed movies and reruns of old shows. Shows like the original Mickey Mouse Club. But come on, you know me, the kitchy queen, loved the heck out of some old school teen saccharine. Especially the bright and bubbly Annette Funicello. She was so nice and dreamy and soft spoken; she was just the cutest. And since she was the teen queen face of Disney for so much of the mid-century, her movies played on the Disney Channel, too! Babes in Toyland, Beach Blanket Bingo, How to Stuff a Wild Bikini, and my personal favorite, Back to the Beach!

(via omg)

My sister and I must have watched Back to the Beach about a million times. We thought it was the funniest movie ever. If you haven't seen it, you must. Let me give you brief synopsis - Frankie (Frankie Avalon, teen dream) and Annette are married and living in Ohio after a very bad surf accident that knocked the Big Kahuna off his board for good, selling used cars and eating peanut butter sandwiches. They have a rebellious son named Bobby who wears leather and thinks he's pretty punk rock. They also have a daughter, Sandy (Aunt Becky from Full House) who lives in California and is secretly engaged to a surfer. The folks decide to surprise Sandy with a visit and head all the way to California on a double-decker jet plane with OJ Simpson. Hijinks ensue, old flames are possibly rekindled, Gilligan is off the island, Pee Wee and Fishbone rock out, pajama parties are had, biker gangs are joined, names are changed (your name is 'Nice'?), and the Big Kahuna does battle with the Humunga Coawabunga from Down Unda once again! It all wraps up quite nicely in an amazing song that I can never find on iTunes (and again and again.) Just trust that it's amazing and rent it. Or buy it - you can probably get it on Amazon for a dollar or something nutty like that. To this day it remains one of my all time favorite goofy movies, guaranteed to put a smile on my face. 

(via i-mockery)

Another favorite Annette moment was her visit to Pee Wee's Playhouse for the Christmas special where she made cards with Frankie Avalon. They use potatoes as stamps and old pieces of screen to stencil with paint and toothbrushes. Pee Wee puts them to serious work but Annette being Annette smiles the whole way through - even if her smile turns out green due to the fact that she uses her toothbrush to stencil and clean her molars. What a goof! This fine work of filmography is another classic, a holiday masterpiece. Again, if you haven't seen it, you must. 80s cameos galore, the silliest jokes, and Christmas classics sung by the likes of KD Lang, Grace Jones, and even Oprah Winfrey! You will not be sorry. Especially when Magic Johnson shows up for a sleigh ride!

With all of these amazing Annette moments filling up my childhood memory bank, you can imagine that I was quite saddened by the news that Annette passed away today after a long battle with MS. Despite her illness, she always managed to be upbeat, positive and kind - a surefire inspirational gal. And at my sister's suggestion, I think we should all indulge in a quiet peanut butter sandwich tonight to honor the late, great, original girl next door. Here's to you, Annette! Why? Because we like you.

(via campmartintravels)

Also, watch this and smile! Thanks for the memories, Annette.

stark raving mad

I love counting down to things.  Whether it's a holiday, an occasion, or the release of something awesome, the anticipation and excitement that goes along with counting down to it makes the actual event even better.  There are a few things that I'm pretty pumped for right now but one far more than the rest - the season five premier of Mad Men!  And I'm not the only one who's getting super pumped for the big day (March 25th.)  Banana Republic is already displaying and advertising their line of 60s inspired clothes and Estee Lauder has released a Mad Men makeup collection.  And though I do look great in a wiggle dress and bright red lipstick, these "inspired by" collections aren't really what gets me going.  Instead, it's the themed viewing parties that are thrown by fans and for fans.  Parties where we can dress up and surround ourselves with all things 60s and drink classic cocktails, munch on favorite appetizers, dance to swinging sounds and watch as our favorite characters wrap themselves up in beautiful, stylized drama.  C'mon, we all know I love a good theme party!

Well, I don't have cable so my fellow Bettys and Joans and Peggys are going to have to find somewhere to go to watch the show, especially since the premier is an extra long, movie-like episode.  But that's just the viewing aspect.  The party can actually start at home with vintage cocktails and snacks.  And thanks to the smarty pants folks over at Nobody's Sweetheart, we've got Sally Draper's cocktail guides.  These are awesomely illustrated guides to all the classic cocktails seen on the show that you might stir up while slipping into your swing skirt or your skinny tie and suit.  Since the weather is warming up a bit, I suggest going with a nice, cool cocktail like a Manhattan or a Cuba Libre.  And if little Sally Draper can't seem to whip up something to your liking, head over to the official 1960s Cocktail Guide for Mad Men fans.  Quite a bit of crossover but the official guide introduces other libations like a tasty Negroni or the champagne classic and one of my fizzy faves, the French 75.  No matter what, make sure your liquor cabinet is fully stocked and that your freezer is packed with plenty of ice because when it comes to these, you might not be able to have just one.  And if your friends hear that you're whipping up a pitcher of Tom Collins', you might end up having an impromptu pre-viewing party party.  Also, to keep it accurate, make sure you've got the appropriate glasses.  I'm the kind of gal that drinks wine out of juice glasses and I have been known to take a shot of whiskey from an empty baby food jar, but that doesn't mean that I don't have a cabinet filled with proper tumblers and lowballs and flutes and other vintage barware.  If you want to make it truly authentic, get some tiny umbrellas and cute stirrers and colorful toothpicks while you're at it - getting drunk looks classier when you do it right!

But it's important to remember not to drink on an empty stomach.  So you'd better eat something before you start throwing back those Brandy Alexanders.  And what better to snack on than Trudy's Rib Eye in the Pan or Sal's Spaghetti and Meatballs or Betty's Around the World Gazpacho?  That's right, all your favorite Mad Men recipes have been compiled into a new cookbook for all of us fans of the show and theme parties.  It's got episode recaps, recipes from the show, and recipes from restaurants visited on the show.  And they've visited some really great restaurants on the show - Keen's, PJ Clarke's, and the Grand Central Oyster Bar to name a few.  I can't wait to get my hands on a copy of The Unofficial Mad Men Cookbook: Inside the Kitchens, Bars, and Restaurants of Mad Men, hint hint to any of you looking to get me a hostess gift or something.

All of these resources combine to give you the perfect tools to create a pretty amazing Mad Men viewing party in case you can't find one that someone else put together and you can just enjoy.  But what's the fun in that?  Planning a party is half the fun!  And if you need more tips, check out the show website for an official party planning pack... and be sure to send me an invite.  I've already got this year's premier outfit all laid out!

super duper

Football and food - two of my favorite things!  Though I didn't watch much football this year (without a gaggle of guys in the house, you sometimes forget that it's Sunday,) and though my team blew it (oh the Jets,) I do enjoy a good, spirited Sunday afternoon of junk food, beer and yelling at the tv.  For the first time in a long time, I was not subjected to playing hostess for the big day... that does not however excuse me from making something warm and delicious and football appropriate. 

And what's more appropriate for a Super Bowl party than a bowl of something super like my warm buffalo bleu cheese dip.  It's the easiest thing in the world to make - no need to miss any crucial plays or awesome commercials and certainly not a moment of the always awesomely over-the-top half-time special (insert sarcasm here.)  My dip is perfect for a good, hearty coating on spicy wings (courtesy of the boys and Frank's,) because it's thick and creamy and warm unlike your basic bleu cheese salad dressing.  It's also amazing with Frito's or sliced veggies for those who avoid meaty things, and we all know that can be kind of tricky on football days.  This is also the kind of recipe that your friends will rave about all night because they don't realize how simple it is to whip up and how few ingredients the recipe requires.  I will now share with you the true winner of the Super Bowl -

baby j's buffalo bleu cheese dip

ingredients

16 oz cream cheese

8 - 12 oz crumbled bleu cheese (I like mine to be almost equal to the cream cheese)

1/8 c Frank's hot sauce (or any hot sauce, but Frank's is the best)

1/4 c cream or 1/2 & 1/2

dash of garlic powder

s&p

red pepper flakes

directions

1. Mix cream cheese, bleu cheese, cream and hot sauce together in an oven-safe dish.  Add in garlic powder, s&p to taste.  Top with a splash of red pepper flakes.  Bake at 350 until the top starts to brown and sizzle, about 20 minutes.  Serve hot or room temp or cold, it's pretty delish no matter how you dish it out.

If you're feeling creative, you could add some crispy bacon, fresh chopped chives, even buffalo chicken if you don't feel like having messy fingers from handling wings all night!  I really love it with a bit of bacon, it kind of makes it taste like a spicy cob salad when you scoop it out with veggies.  And can it get any easier than that??

I don't believe that anyone at the party was a hardcore fan of either team but being that we're all New Yorkers by address, we were hoping to crush New England (which we did; awesomely!)  And we were all fans of my buffalo bleu cheese dip, that's for sure!  It was the game winning touchdown to our table of treats - spicy hot wings, seven layer dip, nachos, chili, chips, more chips, pretzels, veggies, even more chips, loads of beer, celebratory shots of whiskey, and cookies.  You could say we were all a bit bowled over by all the tasty snackage... buh dum bum.  It was a rollicking good time with a great group of people and wonderful food.  Now what major sporting event can we celebrate next?  I believe the bobsledding championships are coming up, anyone down for a party?

feel the rhythm, feel the rhyme

in a lynch-ian kinda mood

There must be something in the air that makes all of these Lynch-like things keep popping up in my life.  One of my top five favorite shows of all time is for sure Twin Peaks.  Now, Twin Peaks was a lot of things, but it was never cheesy.  So imagine my surprise when perusing the cheese selections at the Brooklyn Kitchen, I came across Big Ed's farm style gouda.  I hadn't realized that Ed ventured out of the gas station business and into the production of cheese but apparently he's been busy making some delicious, creamy cheese.  Well done, Big Ed!  I've been slicing off bits of this buttery chunk o' cheese to eat with crackers and sliced pears.  I shredded a bit to top off an omelet with crispy bacon, avocado and red onion.  But I'm looking to use the last little bit in something totally worthy of being served up at the Double R Diner.  Any thoughts?  Dearest readers, I'm calling you in for this one.  Toss some ideas my way of the best dish you can come up with using Big Ed's gouda cheese - breakfast, lunch, dinner, late night snack, it's diner food so any cuisine or mealtime is acceptable.  Also, I'd like to have a Twin Peaks dress up party, but that's for another time... for now, let's focus on the food.

jimmy fallon effing cares about me

A few years ago I was at one of my usual haunts on a Friday evening, chatting with the bartenders and the regular crowd like I did every week.  And just like every week, my happiness lasted beyond the designated hours and it was suddenly past midnight!  Has this ever happened to you?  Of course it has, but how about this - I headed towards the door to chat with my pal who's busy checking ids.  I didn't realize that he was midchat with some other dude when I accidentally interrupted their convo, leading said other dude to give me the meanest, evil eye kind of look EVER.  It was the kind of glare that says 'who do you think you are interrupting my extremely important intoxicated conversation, lady? Because I'm really important.'  I just wanted to be like soooory dude, it was an innocent mistake, but he wasn't having it and he left shortly after.  Well Jimmy Fallon, you missed a super fun night because me and my pals know how to party!  That's right, the guy with the glare was totally Jimmy Fallon and he was snobby to me... uncool.

In New York you tend to run into famous folks pretty regularly and you're supposed to pretend that they're just normal people walking down the street; you kind of have to ignore them.  But every once in awhile you actually get to interact with them and it can (usually) be pretty awesome.  This was not one of those times and Mr. Fallon, you owe me a beer as an apology for being standoffish to me that night.  For a long time I've felt that until that happens, I'm going to remain mad at Jimmy Fallon.

Now that I've filled y'all in on the history me and Jimmy share, you'll understand why I got such a kick out of a story Tina Fey told about him in her book, Bossypants.  The entire book is super hilarious and it totally made me bust out laughing on the bus a few times, leading to some weird looks from my fellow passengers.  Go read it, you won't regret it.  But anyways, one scene in particular involves Mr. Fallon and the lovely Ms. Amy Poehler (though I can't be certain that she's lovely since I've never had a bar encounter with her, I imagine she would be pretty awesome.)  The passage goes a little something like this (read this in Tina Fey's awesomely snarky voice) - 

"Amy was in the middle of some ... nonsense ... and she did something vulgar as a joke. I can't remember what it was exactly, except it was dirty and loud and 'unladylike.'

Jimmy Fallon, who was arguably the star of the show at the time, turned to her and in a faux-squeamish voice said, 'Stop that! It's not cute! I don't like it.'

Amy dropped what she was doing, went black in the eyes for a second and wheeled around on him. 'I don't f**king care if you like it.' Jimmy was visibly startled. Amy went right back to enjoying her ridiculous bit. (I should make it clear that Jimmy and Amy are very good friends and there was never any real beef between them. Insert penis joke here.)"

My saying this might be a few years late, but guess what Jimmy - I don't effing care what you think either!  He however, seems to care just a little about how I feel and what I think.  Fast forward to my current quest for calcium and the resulting ice cream binge.  I think Jimmy Fallon must have known that I was still holding a bit of a grudge against him after all this time and he wanted to make it up to me.  So I imagine that's why he helped a couple of dudes up in Vermont develop an amazing new ice cream flavor called Late Night Snack.  Sweet and salty just how I like it, this Ben and Jerry's flavor is made up of chocolate covered potato chip clusters and a salted caramel swirl all jam packed in rich vanilla bean ice cream.  Plus, it's Fair Trade.  And it's awesome and I love it and I could probably eat an entire pint in one sitting.  

Though it's not the apology beer I was holding out for, the ice cream is a pretty good start, so Jimmy, you're kind of forgiven.  I won't forget your sassy eyed look that night but I guess we can kind of be friends since you created this ice cream especially for me.  I only wish it was a little more obvious to the rest of the frozen dairy loving world that this dessert was made specifically with me in mind.  Ok man, you're officially off my uncool list... but it'll take a change in the ice cream name if you want to make it onto the cool list.

it's like buttah

Over the past month and a half that I've been laid up, I've been super spoiled.  I've eaten out, ordered in, splurged on snacks, taken cabs, slept in and watched a lot of cable tv.  I don't have cable at home and don't think I'll ever get it because I'd probably just end up wasting days on end watching rerun marathons of America's Next Top Model on Bravo and VH1.  Yeah, I'm that snobby gal that thinks most television programming is garbage... until I get sucked in.  Other than silly competitive reality shows though, the only other cable I find myself watching incessantly these days is the endless supply of food and cooking shows.  There are way more awesome shows related to food than I ever remember there being when I last had cable!  I have a feeling I'm going to go through some sort of withdrawal when I get back to my tin foil covered antennae at home.  

But I don't have to leave it all behind, no no no.  All of these tv personality chefs are brilliant marketing wizards, too.  Most of them choose to slap their names on cookware and bakeware or fancy-ish food items at the grocery store.  But one Southern belle has gone a different route, signing off on some kitchen inspired beauty products.  Yup, I'm talking about butter queen Paula Deen and her butter flavored lip balm!  She may not be my favorite of all the channel chefs but boy is this lady genius.  Who wouldn't want their lips buttery soft, especially with the chilly months ahead?  It's not for sale at her online store yet but I'm hoping to get my hands on some because I really want to try it out... anyone want to roadtrip down to Savannah with me and ask her about it?

special guest post from sam & sharon, old ladies in training!

Old Ladies in Training: 

Black Rebel Motorcycle Pie

While the beautiful, brave Jillian recovers, she asked a few of us to do guest posts. So, while I'm not a real deal food blogger, here's an attempt.  Get well soon Jillian!


It was Sons of Anarchy night at my house, which happened to coincide with Sharon's weekly CSA (Community Supported Agriculture for those of you who aren't in the know) pick-up.  There seemed like no better excuse to make a pie than the combination of fresh fruit and shirtless Charlie Hunnam, et al.  We had hoped for some peaches in the CSA bundle to go along with some frozen blueberries and blackberries from earlier summer harvests.  Instead, we got apples and plums to go in the mix.  We decided to go with what we had.  Sans motorcycles and gang, we could at least be vigilantes in the kitchen.  And while some call mixed berry pies Blackbird pies, we decided that, in keeping with the theme of the evening, our unorthodox pie would be dubbed Black Rebel Motorcycle Pie.


I started a couple hours ahead of time by prepping the crust.  A procrastinator by nature, I have leaned the hard way (think Thanksgiving eves spent drinking Bourbon intended for my Pecan Pie filling spent sitting on the floor trying to figure out how to properly thaw a turkey while threatening to send my uncooperative crust out the window) that crust prep is the most important part of pie making.  A few hours before baking, I put two sticks of butter and some water in the freezer.  Fifteen minutes later, I took them out to make the dough.


crust
ingredients
2 1/2 c all purpose flour
1 tbsp sugar
1 tsp salt
2 c chilled unsalted butter, cut into 16 tbsp sized cubes
6 tbsp ice water


In a bowl, I mixed flour, sugar, and salt and then added in the butter cube by cube, strring vigorously until it resembles cornmeal.  Then, I added the water two tablespoons at a time until clumps started to form.  I formed two balls, pressed them down, wrapped in parchment, and put in the fridge for a couple of hours, no less than an hour, and for up to a couple of days.


filling
ingredients
Like the rebels we are, we kind of winged this, so it isn't exact, but can also be adapted for any fruit filling.
We used about 1/2 c blackberries
1/2 c blueberries
a couple small apples, peeled and sliced
three plums, peeled and sliced
juice of 1/2 lemon
1/2 c all purpose flour
1 c sugar
1 1/2 tsp ground cinnamon


Roll out one crust ball and line pie dish.


Peel, slice, prep fruit as desired.  Sprinkle with lemon juice to taste.  Mix the flour, sugar, and cinnamon in a bowl.  Line the bottom of the crust generously with flour/sugar/cinnamon mixture.  Add remaining sugar mixture to fruit to taste.  This depends largely on the sweetness of fruit and amount of lemon juice used, but you'll likely have leftovers.


Spoon fruit mixture into prepped crust.


Assemble lattice top by rolling out second crust ball to same size as first and, then, follow this tutorial, which is a godsend for lattice tops: simply recipes' lattice top tutorial

Coat with egg wash (1 egg and 1/4 c cold water, stirred) and pop in the oven for around 45 minutes at 350, or until golden, checking every ten minutes or so after twenty to make sure the edges are not burning.  If the edges of the crust begin to grow too dark, wrap them in tinfoil.


The result was delicious and, by the time the show was over, we had a perfect pie, the ideal mix of sweet and tart.  One we wouldn't be afraid to bring to the table of gun toting SAMCRO members.

Now that you've gotten to know them, keep up with the gals -

check out Sam's non-foodie writing at Skin & Ink magazine and be amazed by Sharon's hauntingly beautiful photography and stunning natural jewelry!  Also, if you're unsure of how CSA works, check out Just Food's page regarding Community Supported Agriculture in NYC and get involved in local and sustainable resources!  Thanks ladies xoxo